Submitted by sam on Mon, 01/29/2007 - 15:20.

The Goblin Archaeologist has to be the strangest thing out there. I mean, what the hell is up with him?

Okay, for those who don't know what he is, he is a Notorious Monster found in La Theine Plateau, Konschtat Highlands, and Tahrongi Canyon. He's a Goblin NM who's level is randomly somewhere between 30 and 75 each time he spawns. He looks like this:

He is spawned by trading any shit you have in your inventory to a ??? that spawns near the three crags. Basically, depending on how deep he is, you have to trade more and more stuff to get him to spawn. When he spawns, he will attack and potentially slaughter your crew (if you're not high enough to take him). When beaten, he drops some other crap (nothing specific) which usually isn't worth very much. Thus, you don't fight him for any special item, rather you fight him for the bragging rights to say you've fought him :-)

So what's fucked up about him?

What's really fucked up about this NM is how he works. When you find the ??? to spawn him, you click on it and it reads something similar to the following:

"Gimme everything you got in your bag!" says a voice underneath the ground...

Okay, so he's this Goblin that lives underground and likes to threaten Adventurers when they find him. He basically tries to mug them by demanding everything they have on their person.

But, he isn't really threatening you. I mean, you can just say "Fuck you" and walk away. He wont jump out of the ground and attack you to get your swag. No, he'll just sit there, waiting for some other dumb-fuck to come along and click the ??? again.

Really scary... Stupid Gob...

....

Okay, So let's say you do give into his demands and trade shit to him through the ground. The more stuff you trade, the closer to the surface he comes. In other words, you're not only giving into his harmless demands, you're egging him on.

After you've traded him enough stuff to make him spawn, he fucking attacks you. WTF? You just gave into his demands and now he attacks you? Me thinks this idiot Gob doesn't quite understand how a mugging is supposed to work.